Emmett Cullen Adventures
by Hannahcopter
Summary: See into the mind of The Cullen Family's Brother Bear as he takes you on an adventure only Grizzly Bears could handle. All One shots! Some actually really happened! find out more inside! :
1. EMMETT?

**_AN: I thought about a funny story and yeah I dunno if you guys will like it or not but I wouldn't mind for some peoples remarks on this story!  Thank you!_**

**EmPOV**

He He this is gonna be so fun.

It's a good thing Rose, Esme and Carlisle aren't here they are at Tanya's house.

Oh yeah that's right I better not think about it!

"Emmett why in the world are you doing that for?" Alice said in between giggles next to Jasper on the couch.

"I'm doing it for the Guinness book of records and to go down in history" I said as a giant smile spread across my face.

I over heard my so called 'Emo' brother say "Well we all know for sure that he will go down in history as the dumbest vampire on earth" He and Alice laughed and I heard a chuckle from upstairs.

I turned and glared at Jasper sending all my anger at him. Oh I know what I can do! I just think the light bulb blew in the kitchen. He he i'm an evil devil. I heard a laugh so loud I sware our neighbours could here him but aghh that's the thing we don't have neighbours. "Edward, Bella is gonna be here in 20 seconds" Alice called while Edward was down the stairs already from when alice said Bella. Ha ha he's whipped. Edward turned around from the front door and glared at me.

'What I was just saying the truth dude you become as hyper as Alice when the word 'shopping' is used and when it is also used with the name 'Bella' and you can not tell me the smartest most handsome male in this room that it isn't true because it is' I smiled 'he he edward's wipped, edward's wipped, edward'd wipped'

"EMMETT!" Edward yelled and went into a crouch position.

'Bring it little brother' I smiled.

Edward hissed and was about to attack when Bella's truck came up the driveway. He quickly straightened himself out and went to see Bella. Aww I really wanted that fight. Damn it Bella just when he was about to attack. I pouted and went back to my packing.

Edward and Bella walked in the door "Hey guys!"

"Hey bells" "Hey Bella" "Hi miss make Edward not attack me" Edward hissed at me.

'No eddy-kins don't hiss at me I wanted to fight', I pouted

"To bad Emmett" Edward said as he and Bella sat on the love seat.

"Umm Emmett why in the world do you have a superman outfit, snorkel, a snowboard and a parachute?" Bella asked as she was looking at the pile of equipment on the bench with a confused look.

Hehe i'm going to make history!


	2. Tornado Riding? Really?

_**On the Previous Chapter!**_

_"Umm Emmett why in the world do you have a superman outfit, snorkel, a snowboard and a parachute?" Bella asked as she was looking at the pile of equipment on the bench._

_He he I'm going to make history!_

**BPOV**

Seriously what goes through his head I mean why in the world would you have a snorkel, superman's outfit, snowboard and a parachute?

Now I know why he is the most stupid vampire in this family I think over the decades his brains shrinked.

"Move pipsqueak I want to watch the weather" Emmett said as he jumped over the sofa in-between Alice and Jasper.

I wasn't paying attention to the TV but as soon as the weather man said there was going to be a tornado in Oklahoma City. He jumped for joy, Why in the world would he jump for joy then brake the chandelier above his head? Emmett is soo weird! I wonder what he's doing…*thinking*… Ohh no…

I leaned over to Edward "He is not doing what I think he's doing is he?"

"Love that's hard to know as I can't read your thoughts" he chuckled

I looked at Emmett and tilted my head to the side. Why in the world would he do that for?

Im so confused. "Is he umm gonna be dressed up in the superman's outfit and do something that happens to deal with that tornado?"

"Ah huh" Alice said as she was reading a fashion magazine on the floor beside Jaspers feet.

What is going through that idiotic bears head?

**EmPOV**

Okay I think im ready for my departure!. Yeah I know what departure means seriously im not in grade 2.

Everything on my List? Check.

Clean Underwear? Double Check.

Make sure Rose, Esme and Carsile aren't home? Triple Double Check.

Okay I think I'm off! Ohh that's right.

"Hey guys I'm off umm ill put a camera up so you can watch me on my Adventure!" And I left the big house!.

**APOV**

Stupid Brother. How in the world did he think of this idea its stupid ohh wait that's why!

We all sat in the living room watching Emmett put up the camera.

"Hey guys I know you can hear me!" he smiled and laughed. "So.. im just waiting for the tornado to pick up so im off on my historical expedition"

Ha expedition this soo reminds me of paris.

The tornado was only a couple of minutes away from where Emmett was getting ready.

He was already in the superman's outfit and had everything on he looks like he's going water ski-ing not tornado riding!

Emmett looked at the camera "3….2…..1" he undid the parachute and poof he was of around and around he went and 3 seconds later the camera broke. Damn! I really wanted to see if a cow could fly like in the movie Twister, Oh wait instead of a cow it's a bear! He he. Oh that reminds me!

"Bella" I gave my puppy dog bout "could you help me for a second?"

She looked at me with a weary glance. Oh for gods sake im not gonna do anything except change what she's wearing. No hair, No Bella barbie and defintly must I say this No make up!.

She looked at Edward and said "Can I trust her?"

He looked at me deciding on whether he should take her to the medow or let me have her! He was going to 'ohh no you don't Edward I just want to change her clothes you have to tell me that, that dark green shit is ugly and you know it!' I raised my eye brow. He glared at me still tempting on what he should do. I suddenly got a vision

'Um guys help me! Aghh im stuck!' he said as he was hanging from the top of the state empire building by his underwear.

I collapsed on the floor with laughter and I got pulled into another vision

Rosalie, Esme and Carsile were coming through the front door.

Ha Emmett's gonna get in trouble.


	3. Ohh look a person in a bathtub?

**_AN: Ha I really like this story!  Please Review! Please with a cherry on top!_**

**_Thank you to all my reviewers and you guys are: _Swetlana_ and_ _ Thank you!_**

On the last chapter of Emmett Cullen Adventures.

_APOV_

_I collapsed on the floor with laughter and I got pulled into another vision_

_Rosalie, Esme and Carlsile were coming through the front door._

_Ha Emmett's gonna get in trouble._

**EmPOV**

Okay here we go! "3…2….1" Wowwww Hoooooo. Going around and around is starting to make me dissy. Can vampires even get dissy? Meh.

Ohhh look a Person in a Bath tub reading a newspaper? Weird.

Moo. Moo?

Aghh iv got to move stupid flying cow I mean how do cows fly?

Except in the movie twister and how are they ment to jump over the moon? Come on who is silly enough to do that?

A plus on the matter I get to have a snack while im up here! I wonder where im gonna end?.

I guess its another adventure.

**EPOV**

They will be arriving any second. Ha Emmett's so gonna get in trouble. Yeah I know im the youngest brother in some way's but its always fun to pick on the big brother and that brother seems to be the most stupidest one on the planet.

'Hey Edward they will arrive in 3 seconds' Alice thought as she ran down the stairs and sat on the floor next to jaspers feet. Bella was beside me reading.

Carlsile's mercades came up the driveway and parked in the garage.

"Hello! My beautiful children" Esme said as she walked through the door and stopped when she saw us in the living room.

'head count.. 5.. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS EMMETT, EDWARD?' I shrugged

"Ask Alice she might know?" I said as I pulled bella on to my lap.

"Alice where is EMMETT?" Esme said anger starting to build.

"What do you mean Emmett's gone?" Rosalie said as she ran through the door in to the living room.

"He went on an adventure?" Carlsile said as a question.

Alice nodded "But ill know where he will land if that helps?"

"Where is he going to land Alice?" Rosalie said as she looked up and

"Who did this to my chandeler?" Esme was seething anger you could actually see it.

"Who else?" Jasper said as he was trying to calm Esme.

"That stupid piece of meat I am going to kill him. Where will he be Alice?" Rosalie said as she was about to exit the back door.

Alice sung "The empire state building"

And rose was out the door.

He is in big big trouble.

**EmPOV**

Aghh some one help me, Please. Help I think iv got a wedgy?

"EMMMMMEETTT MC CARTHHHYY CULLLENNN"

Aww Damn it!


	4. Elevators are Cool!

AN: Ha so what do you think? I'm not a funny person so could you tell me if its funny or not! Thank you!

On the previous chapter

EmPOV

Aghh some one help me, Please. Help I think iv got a wedgy?

"EMMMMMEETTT MC CARTHHHYY CULLLENNN"

Aww Damn it!

EmPOV

I was sitting on the couch next to Jasper while we were playing halo world warfare.

"Damn it Jasper stop messing with my emotions" I was really trying to get him in the head on halo.

Aghh stupid slow alien person thingy he should be fast like us! But no its like a computer game.

"Noo…. Damn it Jasper" I chucked the controller and the wall.

Jasper started laughing. Dude why is he laughing? When he laughs he looks like his heads gonna explode.

"Jasper dude why in the world are you laughing?"

"Because who ever lost has to go shopping with Alice!"

Whattt…… NOOOOO….. SHOPPING NO WHERE IN THE WORLD IS ROSALIE IN A TIME OF CRISIS LIKE THIS.

"Your not going anywhere Emmett" Alice said and grabbed my hand and dragged me to her porche.

LATER THAT SAME DAY JUST 5 HOURS LATER..

Humm Alice wouldn't mind me going on the elevator would she? Aww well I don't care what Alice has to say.

Humm ohh look there's Lauren walking this way to the elevator. Huh I wonder why they call it an elevator?

"Hey Emmett going up?" she said as she pressed a button on the elevator door.

"Umm yeah sure" I said as I waited for the doors to close.

"Emmett what are you do.." Alice stopped mid stride "Ohh they are so mine another pair of jimmy choo shoes for bella" Alice ran off towards more shops.

This takes so long.. I wonder if I press all the buttons will it hurry up. So I stood there pressing all the buttons on the elevator.

"Emmett" Lauren hissed man I thought when she talks is bad imagine her hissing at you! YUCK

"What?"

"Now I'm gonna be late for my date with future" huh future is she like alice?

"What did you see in your future?, Paint balls?, a first kiss?, ohh top grades?" i asked excitedly.

She looked at me like I was mental. This is gonna be one longg… elevator ride!

40 ELEVATOR STOPS LATER.

"Huhmm" Lauren said as she exited the elevator and left without a backwards look.

"Hey Emmett?" Mike said from behind me leaning on the rain inside the elevator.

I just kept looking around the croud trying to spot Alice.

"Seriously Emmett close the door so I can go" Mike said as he pushed himself of the rail.

"Sorry no can do waiting for someone"

"WHO?" I think I could have some fun with him.

"Ohh just bella no-one special" I said still trying to look for Alice.

"Bella the Bella Swan?" Mike started to bounce up and down. Man he is more hypo than alice when she finds something she REALLY LIKES.

"Yeah the Bella Swan that's going out with my brother" I said annoying him.

Mike snorted and said under his breath "Stupid Cullen thinks he's so that has to get the hottest girl in school what's so good about him the first time they met he looked ready about to kill her"

How right he was but Edward would never do that to our family and especially not to Alice, Me and Esme because she is already family and she is my little sister and if anyone wants to hurt her including Edward he has to go through me! Even though he is my older/younger brother. I hope Alice gets a new pink mini skirt after what happened last time. Which she doesn't know about!

2 HOURS LATER

"Emmett it has been 2 fu***** hours she sprung you now lets go already" Man is mikey whikey cranky someone needs to go to bed. I let the elevator doors go. I leaned on the rail and started to write down stuff while I was waiting for the elevator to stop and then 'Bang' my pen fell to the floor.

I looked at mike he was just looking at the blue pen laying on the floor in front of him. He went to go pick it up. No..

"NO THAT'S MY PEN!" I screamed he backed up with fear and I picked up the pen and started to pet it cause it was crying. "Its ok pen its ok!" Whats that I smell.. Ewwww…. Grosss... He pissed his pants.

I started to laugh so hard like Jasper did while we were playing halo.

'Bing' aghh I've had enough fun for one day!.


	5. Cheerleading in science?

**_AN: Hey guys, I'm so sorry for my last chapter all the spelling and grammar mistakes. Sorry. Any way on with the next chapter._**

**EmPOV**

Aghh I hate school!.. Sitting at this ugly cafeteria table. Eww and the smell of that Food! Yuck.

_'Bring'_

Errr.. **Science**.. Funn… With **Big Foot**. **_(My actual Science Teacher lol)_**

Seriously he has one foot so big.. You know in those movies how there is a giant foot and it stomps on people and buildings I swear it's that BIG. He walks like a Walrus and has a moustache too.. Creepy.

Anyway I took my seat behind Jasper in science and Big foot started to talk about metals and conductivity. Boring I must say after those stunts in Paris and the Tornado my family including Bella think over time my brain decreases while theirs increase but there wrong I'm smart. I learnt how to make cereal for Bella.

**_Flashback to earlier this morning._**

_"Bella I'm making breakfast for you this morning!" I said as I pushed her out of her bed and on to the floor._

_"Good morning floor, Thanks Emmett for the nice Wake up Call" Bella said as she was getting up off the floor._

_I laughed "Its okay Bella" I picked her up and ran down stairs with her in my arms._

_"Good morning Bella" Alice said as she came through the front door._

_Bella looked a little unsettled maybe she needs her breakfast._

_"Umm why are you guys here?" she said quietly_

_"Cause eddy said that I didn't have enough brains to actually make you cereal" I said as I out her in a chair and went to search for the bowls._

_"And I'm here to see if he actually does it" Alice smiled. Bella nodded._

_Okay not in the draws um are they in the fridge that's where humans put food there not eating._

_I opened the Fridge..._

_"Aghh" I screamed and hid behind Alice._

_"It… it's the head of a pig"_

**_End of flash back._**

Okay so actually I really didn't make Bella breakfast but I watched her do it so ill be able to do it next time.

"Does any body know what enzymes are?" Big foot said._** (This Actually happened on monday in science i nearly fell off my chair laughing. ;p )**_

"Uhh substance of washing powder?" some kid by the name of Brody said.

"Yeah... no"

Big foot went into the middle of the class room and started to sing

_"Washing powder... washing powder enzymes are not in washing powder, E.N.Z.Y.M.E.S"_ he did while doing some cheerleading. It looked aghh it's not something a vampire with photographic memory wants to remember... uhhhh…. Goss. I looked around and everyone was laughing so that plus all the emotions of laughter multiplied on jasper. I looked at jasper I swear his will explode not like the laugh when Alice took me shopping but a giant Booming laugh that you multiply in a cave that echoes.

Huh... I Wonder what's gonna happen in the next class… **ENGLISH!**


	6. No Carslie Please Nooo

AN: So on the last Chapter Mr. Big Foot does a cheerleading dance but straight after is English. What's gonna happen then next find out now!!

EmPOV

HEHE English.. with a Alice look-alike but she's Canadian and around 24 and married if I didn't know any better she could be Alice's twin. Luckily with this class I was by myself so I could get into as much trouble if I was with one of my family members … especially Rose and Edward.

"Alright class.. Can you please write down the things off the projector" she said as she looked around and ticked the people here.

Why do I have to write it down can't we have a piece of paper that had it on it instead?.

"Emmett why aren't you writing it down?" Alice look-alike said

"Because I wanted it on a piece of paper so I don't have to write it down" I said blakly

"No.. I want you to write it down so it will stick in your pea brain size head" she said the last parts quietly.

"Stupid biiach she's the one with the pea brain" I said quietly

Well I thought quietly….

"That's it Principal's office NOWW" she growled she got cranky fast might be the time of the month.

"Emmett McCarthy Cullen. You are the one that is on my nerves and its not my time of the month so get you big ass to the principal's Office NOW.." she said as she pointed out the door to the hallway to the principal's office.

BPOV

"Attention Fellow Students of Forks High, I am glad to announced that Mr. Stewart will not be here for the next week or so…. So fell free to party, gamble and play the x-box as much as you like" said someone and laughed.

I looked at Edward halfway though the speech thinking that this maybe the grizzly bear talking.

He looked at me and nodded probably thinking the same thing… 'Man is Emmett stupid and idiotic'

In the background you could hear some muffled moans and a door slam

"Nooo……. Nooo Dad, Carsile please no you would not like to do that please anything but that" then a really high pitched scream reached our ears and Edward squinted because of it but was laughing at the same time? Huh wonder what carsile is doing to Emmett??


	7. Ohh Bad Em!

_**AN: Thank you for the Reviews Really appreciate it! Thank you to** KellBell0**, **Edward'sGirl09** and last but not least** TWILIGHT LOVERR OFICIALL**. Thank you for the reviews and for this is the next chapter. This is a short chapter the next one will be longer.**_

**CPOV**

Why did Emmett have to be so stupid. He wrap the principal up in toilet paper and sticky tape and pulled him up to the top of the flag post by his underwear. Thank god Alice told me to come to school at 12 to come and get Emmett this morning before I left for work. The loud speaker went on!.

"Attention Fellow Students of Forks High, I am glad to announced that Mr. Stewart will not be here for the next week or so…. So fell free to party, gamble and play the x-box as much as you like" Then the bear laughed. I walked into the principals office dragging along the Prinicpal across the floor and looked Emmett straight in the eyes he knew what was coming next "Nooo……. Nooo Dad, Carsile please no you would not like to do that please anything but that" He screamed like a little girl and ran to the mercades.

**RPOV**

We got back from school to find Emmett laying across Carlisles lap wrapped in a mental hospital jacket and chains wrapped around him. Carlisle was smacking his ass like a toddler. Acctualy he is a toddler.

"Please stop carlisle please the is the 30,000 time please my ass hurts" Emmett wined

"Fine but im not finished with you Jasper, Edward could you help please?"

"Sure" they said together like twins "What do you need help with?"

"Help me with Emmett could you guys carry him?"

"Yep" Edward Said with a big smile reading carlisles mind to see whats gonna happen to Emmett.

They picked him up and ran into the forest.

"Rose come look at this!" Alice said from her room

I ran upstairs to her room and looked where she was pointing. There was Emmett hanging on the tallest tree in the forest swing from side to side. I could get used to Emmett not being here!


	8. And the BEAR jumped over the moon

**AN: My friend thought of this and i found it funny and added my own ideas to it! so i hope you like it if you have any ideas i would love to know? ~ hannahcopter **

**thank you for all your reviews. If i get 20 reviews ill put up The Paris Chapter thats mentioned in Alice's POV in Chapter 2. So keep reviewing thank you! :)**

**JasPOV**

Seriously I can't help but laugh at what Carsile did it was….. SMART..

He tied Emmett up in a mental hospital suit wrapped in massive chains and tied him to the tallest tree in the forest beside our house. From Alice's/mine and Edward's room you could see him in the Tree it's really interesting to see him trying to get down.

Huh wonder what would happen if he got flicked like a fly while tied up?

Ohh idea… Edward you in?

"Yep i just wanna see him do something other than swing from side to side like a freak and dry sobbing like a girl. Let me go find something that will hold his weight" Edward darted from the door way and down to the basement.

_**LATER…**_

Everything was set up the parachute with a lot of rubber bands all tied up and Emmett too.

"So Em you ready to become the first vampire to fly over the moon?" I asked as I lead him to the contraption.

"Yep this is another attempt at a gueniss world record and I really wanna be the first person/vampire to ever go over the moon ohhhh could you take a photo of me over the moon?" Emmett said and screamed like Alice with shopping then put on a huge grin to his ideas.

**_LATER.. AGAIN_** _but Emmett tied up and ready to go…_

"Ready Emmett?" Edward said as we both held on the the parachute to pull it back.

"Ahh huh READYYY" he was laughing so excited like a kid in a candy shop.

We pulled back soo far we nearly reached bellas house. Okay that's a bit of exadggeration.

I looked at Edward to see if he was ready to let go and he nodded

"3….2…..1" We let go …. In seconds he vanished from sight in the air?

Huh wonder if he is acctualy gonna go over the moon?

**EPOV**

Weeeeeee…………………..

_'PLONK'_

Huh wonder were I am this place is so dark and it has these aliens in white Astronaut suits with books.

And the walls are padded with black colouring and with only one door? And a Spinny thing that goes around and around like the globe with a person inside of it.

As well I can see stars and earth.

Is that Omg the aliens captured me….. Aghhh….. Guys help me…

* * *

**_Ha well i tried to make it seem he ended up at NASA if anyone was wondering!. If you have any ideas i would love to know! :) REVIEWS!_**


	9. Such an evil mother

**_Okay i know this is the shortest chapter yet but i needed this in for the next couple of chapters! Hope your liking the story so FAR! thankyou_**

**EsPOV**

After we got Emmett back got NASA. We got all the boys to sit around the table and discuss what we are going to do about situations. Well Emmett was still in an astronaut uniform, jasper was still laughing because he tied a camera to Emmett's mental jacket and watched the whole thing with Edward. As for Edward well _'get out of my head Edward'_. He grumbled now he's looking like umm well Edward.

"I called you here because Bella and us girls are going to Paris for the weekend and yes Edward I have told Charlie that she is going to stay here and that no harm will come to here okay" _'and I mean that in two ways'_.

"Oh Can I come?" Emmett said waving his hand around his head.

"No. You boys will be here while we are in Paris shopping okay and if something happens Emmett, Edward your cars get smashed into dust and as for jasper well what can I say No Gaming consoles and Alice said too if you do get into something dress you up as a girl for a whole month make-up and everything" I said as I grabbed my bags from the steps and my jacket from the closet.

"Esme you can't do that?" they said.

"Well it's your decisions if that happens" I left and hopped in the car with Alice, Rose and Bella.

"Hey you know there going to do something right!" Bella said as we were on our way to the airport.

I shrugged "That's why I already smashed there cars and games"

"I never knew I had such an evil mother" Rosalie said with awe.

"Hey I had 5 older brothers when I was little I know how to bring them to there knees" I said and we all giggled.


	10. The Note

**EmPOV**

Damn it no Rosie for a whole week, what am I meant to do then? Where is Carlisle when you need him he should be back from the hospital by now?

"Hey guys look what Alice left!" Jasper called from their bedroom.

"What is it jazzy?" I said as I entered his room.

Edward was sitting on the window seat smiling like an idiot 'Hey Eddy what's got you smiling like you seen Bella half nude?' Edward turned and stared eyes black 'wow sorry bro I was kidding'

"Emmett look at the note Alice left" Jazz said as he shoved the note in my face.

It read **….**

_'Hey Jazzy,_

_I left you some funny clothes in our closet and some pills on the bench in the bathroom._

_I know Carlisle doesn't like to go hunting without Esme. So this might give you guys some fun for the time we are shopping in Paris so have FUNN…_

_P.S: Esme has already destroyed everything oh and stay away from the highway._

_Love Forever Alice (aka Pixie) xoxoxo'_

"Yeah what are we meant to do with some clothes and pills?" I asked as soon as I finished the note.

"Damn Em we thought you would of got to by now Alice left a mini skirt, boob tube shirt and some red pumps…" Jasper said

Edward continued like twins "as well the pills are oestrogen" Edward said as evil as ever.

"So what's that gotta do with car… Oh I love Alice a lot more now. Evil pixie" I said as I rubbed my hands together like a mad scientist.

I looked around at my brothers with a giant smile plastered across my face "Lets do it"

**LATER**

"Hey boys I'm home!" Carlisle said as he walked through the door.

"Hey dad" "Hey" "Hello….." We all said at the same time. Me and Jazz were pretending to play the broken PS3 and Edward was at his piano.

Carlisle hung up his doctor coat "I'm gonna have something to drink" Then he walked down into the basement to have some drug added animal blood.

_'Hey there Delilah_

_What's it like in New York City_

_I'm a thousand mile away but girl_

_Tonight you look so pretty yes you do'_

"Hello Alice!" Jazz answered his mobile.

What a pussy ringtone. Edward chuckled

"Okay I'm just calling to say that it is going to work" Alice said then hung up.

"Hey boys what am I wearing ….. Eww its ugly I wonder if Alice has any better clothes don't you think" Carlisle said as he exited the basement and headed up the stairs. Did Carlisle just say 'Eww' to his doctor uniform?

**HAHA**

Me, Jazz and Edward were rolling around on the floor laughing.

"What it's not that bad…. It's perfect" Carlisle said as he did a twirl at the bottom of the steps. His usual hair was pulled back into a really tiny pony tail. He was wearing what Alice had laid out on their bed and those really high blood red pumps. I'm surprised they fit! Oh and his _really_ _hairy legs_ with a mini skirt and pumps now that's what you say Eww for.

"Go get changed boys its time to go clubbing" Carlisle squealed and clapped his hands.

We all went through another round of laughs.

Edward grabbed his keys for the Mercedes and we all piled in the back.

We went to the midnight bar in Port Angeles.

Wow… girls up and down poles and omg..

"Jazz did you bring the camera"

Jazz flashed a giant smile and nodded.

"Look at this!" I pointed to carlise giving Mikes dad a lap dance and ahh mikes dad was getting turned on.

"Wow he has girl moves" Jazz said in between chuckles

"Jazz just take the photo and it could be used for blackmail or for something more" Edward said after he shooed away another girl.

**_'click'_**

"Hey lets get out of here before the drugs wear off" Edward said as he got up and went to start the car.

Me and Jasper had to drag carslie off of mikes dad and into the car.

I was driving along the highway when a cop car pulled up.

"Driver's Licence please" It was derrick charlie's understudy. Ha understudy.

"Oh sure" I went to grab my wallet.

Oh shit I left it at home.


	11. Spice and everything unnice

**_Wow thanks for all the reviews!_**

**_When my friends read it they laughed there heads off and thanks to them for help thinking of ideas for this story! This one goes to Nat! _**

* * *

**EmPOV**

"Emmett you stupid idiot why didn't you bring it dumbass" Jasper said angrily.

"Why jazzy I don't know alright, I just didn't bring it okay" I got up and walked around the cell. Yes a jail cell.

_**Flashback**_

_I was driving along the highway when a cop car pulled up._

_"Driver's Licence please" It was derrick charlie's understudy. Ha understudy._

_"Oh sure" I went to grab my wallet._

_Oh shit I left it at home._

**_End Of Flashback._**

"Oh my what do we have here?" Charlie bella's dad said as he walked past and noticed us in here. He always wanted to get Edward in trouble so she couldn't see him. It was quite funny.

Charlie looked a tad bit uneasy, I wonder why?

I turned around and that was a sight that will be locked in my memory for ever even though I want to forget it.

There in a giant crisis is carlise doing something remotely …

Singing while still dressed up as a female hooker hanging onto the jail bars going up and down..

_Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha._

_If you want my future forget my past,  
If you wanna get with me better make it fast,  
Now don't go wasting my precious time,  
Get your act together we could be just fine_

_I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha._

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._

_What do you think about that now you know how I feel,  
Say you can handle my love are you for real,  
I won't be hasty, I'll give you a try  
If you really bug me then I'll say goodbye._

_Yo I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really  
really really wanna zigazig ha._

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._

_So here's a story from A to Z, you wanna get with me  
you gotta listen carefully,  
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face,  
we got G like MC who likes it on an  
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,  
and as for me..ah you'll see,  
Slam your body down and wind it all around  
Slam your body down and wind it all around._

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends,  
Make it last forever friendship never ends,  
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,  
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is._

_If you wanna be my lover, you gotta, you gotta, you  
gotta,  
you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down and wind it all around.  
Slam your body down zigazig ah  
If you wanna be my lover._

Falling to the ground and giggling like a pixie Alice.

"Is he alright?" Charlie said while standing there with his mouth hung open.

Was carlise alright?? No but I have this feeling that its just gonna keep getting worse.


	12. Paris

**_Okay.. Sorry For the long update! umm this is the Paris Chapter.. Does anyone know if elevators were invented in the 80's?? well anyway. Hope you like it!_**

* * *

**EmPOV**

_**FlashBack**_

_**1980 Paris, France.**_

Humm "Today ill Make HISTORY" I Yelled through out the house.

"Umm em I don't think you can acctualy to that" Edward said as he came down stairs reading a book.

"Try and Stop Me Eddy" I poked my tounge out at him.

"Oh I wont but Alice will" He said with a Smile.

Stupid mind reading brother and Future seeing Pixie.

Later That Very Same Day….

"Ohh this will look so good on you Emmett, Rosalie will rip it straight off of you when you first wear it" Alice said as she put another piece of clothing on mine and Jaspers arm.

Aghh stupid pixie … I would be making history by now!.

Alice suddenly went into a vision.

"Oh My GodAghhhhhComeOnJazzyThereIsAGiantSaleOnLetsGo" Alice grabbed jaspers arm and pulled him along with her..

He He I can get my Plan into Action.

On Top Of the Effile Tower.

Okay got m parachute check okay so that's it?? Yep so..

**APOV**

Stupid Stupid I ran After Emmett.. I Left Jasper near the elevators.

Aghh I might as well run up the stairs while im at it anyway.

Once I reached the top I could see Emmett ready to fall of the edge I ran and grabbed the parachute when he jumped…..

'Aghhhhhhhh' Emmett screamed

Woops Guess someone forgot to put the straps on properly.

* * *

**_REVIEW all you have to do is click the button and type a few words! lol if you have any ideas i would love to know! :)_**


	13. Elevators are Cool! Part 2

**JPOV**

Okay so Alice went to get Emmett and im standing next to an elevator.. I wonder…

Im okay in an elevator….

_'Ding Please select a level?'_ the elevator said.

Okay umm level 4 ohh I can have some fun

"Heyy wait a sec" some random said in French.

He was Tall but not as tall as Emmett and looked like he ate a lot of snails in his day. He looked at me weird well…

I had every single bag of Alice's across my arm.

I looked at one and opened it a little bit "Do you have enough air in there??"

I Meowed as a reply.

The Human looked at me like I needed to be in a clinic.

_'Floor 2'_ the elevator said

"MEOWWWW"

_'Floor 3"_

"MEOWWW"

_"Final Floor 4"_

"MEOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

The Human had his telephone calling the hospital for me to have a perminate residence.

I got out of the elevator and put the bags down and took out a toy cat…..

* * *

**_Get it?? ohh well if you don't it wasn't Jasper who was meowing every floor it was the toy cat!_**


	14. Truth and Dare without Truth

**APOV**

"Everyone get your arses down here!" I yelled from the lounge room.

It was a Saturday in the Cullen house hold... Boring like usual.

Everyone sat down in the lounge room well only us kids and except Bella cause she has to help her dad with something at the police station.

I was bouncing up and down on the sofa.

"I have a great idea!" I squealed

"Ali!?" Edward said with and 'are you sure?' look.

"Okay we are going to play Truth or Dare but no Truth so basically Dare" I screamed

"Wow Calm down pixie" Rosalie said as she held my shoulders from trying to bounce too hard and break the sofa.

I looked around at my family.

"So are you guys in or not?"

They all nodded

"YESS" I screamed

"So who starts first?" Emmett said.

"Oh that's easy Jasper" I said with a smile.

"And how do you know this"

I gave Emmett 'do you dare challenge me look' Hello im the future seeing vampire... duhh

"Okay go Jasper"

**JPOV**

Hum I wonder ….

"Rose?"

"Yeah?"

I smiled and so did Edward

"I dare you to dye your hair Emo black"

**RPOV**

Oh hell no he didn't just say that….

"Yeah he did!" eddy said with a smile...

"Fine"

I ran up stairs I wonder where the dye is.

"In my bathroom Rosalie it's on Jaspers side" Alice Yelled from down stairs

I grabbed the bottle of black dye and put it through my lovely blond hair one piece at a time...

**APOV**

Rosalie came down stairs with a shower cap over her dyed blond hair to keep the dye on her hair instead of her clothes.

"Okay it's my turn" Rosalie said

**RPOV**

HEHE EVIL….

"I dare Alice to cut up every piece of clothing she owns?" I said with a smirk

"WHATT? I CANT DO THAT ARE YOU INSANE?" Alice started to scream at me.

"No I am not insane but at least it gives you time to go shopping for more clothes anyway"

"Oh I might as well do bella's while I'm at it too" Alice ran up stairs I could hear the tearing away at the clothes…

**APOV**

After Ripping apart every piece of clothing I own its my turn to dare some one and that some one is a giant bear.

"Emmett ?!"

Emmett gulped

"I Dare you to wear Rosalies most revealing clothing for a whole week and that includes school"

Emmetts eyes were the size of frypans "O…K…Kay"

**EmPOV**

Damn but on the other hand ill look S.M.E.X.Y.Y

Edward snorted..

"Oh well if eddy is a big tough man I dare you to…"

**EPOV**

There is no way in hell I am doing that not in a million years wait not in an eternity will I do that.

"Yes eddy you have to do that" Rosalie said while she pointed to her freshly dyed black hair.

Damn….

**APOV**

We are currently situated out side Mike's house. Its about 5 in the afternoon.

"You Emmett are going to be dead" Edward said through his teeth. He was wearing a wig that looked exactly like bella. He looked exactly like bella.

Edward walked up to mikes front door and knocked.

We could hear running from up stairs because he probably only saw the wig.

'Crack' the door swung open and there was something really wrong with this picture….

Aghh we were all laughing…..

**EPOV**

Stupid, stupid, stupid Brother.

I heard running coming down the stairs..

'Crack' the door swung open and there was this giant blond haired man.. that looks a hell of a lot like mike.. Ohh sweet mother of nibblets..

He picked me up and kissed me right on the mouth….

EWWWW…………… Mikes Dad's Slobber.

I could hear my family laughing hard …

"Get him off of me!..." I winned

Emmett yells "Smile for the camera eddy!"

WHAT CAMERA…………

**JPOV**

After we got home … hahaha

We sat around in the lounge room waiting for Edward to come back down stairs from washing all of his skin… He smelt like… HAHA MIKES DAD!

**EPOV**

I returned down stairs to finish the game of DARE…

"Okay Jasper I want you to go fully nude running around the police station at human speed" I said with a smile.. Pay Back is a Bi***.

**JPOV**

We were outside the Police Station which currently inside is every cop in forks and bella.. my sisters gonna see me nude.. haha at least she'll se me naked, Edwards to pussy!

Edward Growled from the front seat.

"Just go Jasper" Rosalie said impatiently.

I got out of the car stipped as fast as I could and started to bolt in vampire running as I hit the police front doors I slowed down at a human pace. I Ran, Around and Screamed "_SAVE THE WHALES_"

Bella ran out of her dads office while Charlie was behind her and took in the scene happening inside a police station. Bella had her eyes wide and her hand covering her mouth to stop her from laughing you could just see her ready to burst full of laughter…

Charlie on the other hand looked murderous.. He grabbed his gun and started to chase me…

Bella was now on the floor laughing so hard she's turning red..

I ran outside while Charlie was following me he was already panting.

My family saw what was happening and started laughing.

Bella made her way out side laughing while shaking her head watching her dad chase after me.

She said softly Even though she knew we would all hear "Thanks Jasper he needed a run after all the doughnuts he ate today"

I ran Past her and Said "No Problem'o"

"Get Back Here!" Charlie screamed and they all went into another round of laughter.

* * *

**_Review!....... Seriously Save The Whales! REVIEWWW... PLEASE reviewing will make me update faster! :)_**


	15. April Fools Cullen Style

**_So guys happy April Fools Day! To ya hope you got pranked! Lol_**

* * *

_**April Fools Day Part 1**_

* * *

**EmPOV**

Ohh my favourite day of the year! April Fools Day everyone in the house loves to compete against each other to see who comes up with the best prank to fool the family!

This year its gonna be me.

That's Right ME; Emmett Cullen is going to have the best prank ever in the history of the earth.

Edward looked at me like I was crazy, yeah right… me… crazy Pffft he's the crazy one, he can read minds for gods sake!

Bella sits next to him trying to keep her little wittle eyes open to wait for what the big news is heck she might already know… because in 10 seconds its going to be the 1st of April.

"Okay Let the Pranking Begin!" Alice said as she went upstairs to find a plan and Edward picked up Bella swung her on his back and ran to her house. Everyone else in the family went there different ways as to do planning of their April Fools Prank.

Well maybe except me… I'm still lonered in the lounge room.

What to do?, What to do?


	16. Emmetts Prank!

**_So... ITs APRIL FOOLS! THIS IS Emmetts and well im tired and can't keep updating tonight need sleep! ill Post all the other Cullens Pranks tomorrow! Thanks And dont forget to REVIEWW. _**

**_R.E.V.I.E.W_**

**_Review's make me happy and hypo!_**

* * *

EmPOV

It took me all night but…

I know what to do, I know what to do!

I smiled a triumphant smile and made my way to my bedroom to get changed for school.

**_Later in Rosalie's M3_**

"So Emmy have you got a prank in store?" my dear Rose said while driving.

"Yep I do; do you?"

"Yeah why wouldn't I this is one of my favourite days of the year" Rosalie replied with a smirk.

"I wonder what Edward and the rest of them have in-store?" I said aloud thinking to myself.

We arrived at Forks High School Parking Lot

I looked around the lot to try and find the person I need to help me do my prank! Natalie Burke (Nat for nickname)… Resident Make up Pro.

There sitting in the front seat of her 1976 Rabbit was a Average height female with Dark brown hair and eyes, sitting reading something funny. I looked into the reflective mirror and saw the title 'Emmett Cullen Adventures' huh… oh well…. I'll talk to her later in English.

**_Later in English._**

I moved along the desks to sit next to Nat with out Mrs. Alice look-alike finding me… after what I did to her house after I got sent to the principal's office the other week ….

I leaned across so I could whisper in her ear "Hey Nat could you do me a big favour?"

She looked a bit dazzled… ha-ha I'm not the only one in the family that can dazzle a human!

She turned and looked at me "What's in it for me?" with one eye brow up.

Hum…. "I'll buy you lunch for 2 weeks and a signed picture of me so you can have my first signed autograph before I'm famous?" I said with a cheesy smile.

She looked sceptical… well I would too.

"Alright except you can leave out the autograph" she said with a giggle.

This is Gonna Be SWEET! I can just TELL.

**RPOV**

I heard a growl come from the cafeteria as I was exiting the art block I looked up the hallway to find Alice, Bella and Edward wondering what was happening.

A shock of horror went through our body's … If Alice didn't see what was gonna happen…

Edward looked at me…

Could Alice have missed something… I don't really want to say it but Jasper he hasn't hunted in a couple of weeks… and…

Mine and Edwards's eyes grew like frypans.

He better not have…

We all ran to the cafeteria… To find blood all over the wall, Floor and Oh My God…. A body!

**EmPOV**

Hahahahaha… this is so funny.

I made Natalie set it all up in the cafeteria! And it worked! Yeah!

When I walked in Rose, Alice, Edward, Jasper and Bella were lets just say a bit freaked out by this situation. I walked past Natalie and winked at her. She blinked to let me know that she knew what was gonna happen. I walked up to my family with a sad, angry expression on my face and feelings to jasper and making sure I don't think of Natalie in my head.

We were all silent when Natalie's phone went off …

I stood up and went into her pocket an pulled out her phone.

"Here ill answer it!" Alice said snatching Nats Mobile out of my hand.

Alice Clicked the Green Phone button.

_'Booom'_ we heard Gasps as

Natalie stood up and walked beside me and we said together **"April Fools"**

* * *

R.E.V.I.E.W please!


	17. First look at new story

**Hey guys,**

**This isn't a authors note but I just want my readers to have a look at a new story im working on so if you think I should but it up ill post the first chapter up.. but that depends if I get enough reviews. If I get 20 reviews then Ill put up the chapter.**

Summary.

_Being heiresses of a multi-billion dollar hotel company has its ups and downs. In the eye of the public and been raised in New Yorks most elite social circles. These sisters find out it always isn't about designer clothes and lavish parties. The sisters are in a lot of trouble the family name is at stake and the press is ready to sink there teeth into the story of the year. All before finishing high school._

**REVIEW IF YOU WANT ME TO MAKE A STORY OUT OF IT.**


	18. Oh look! Nsync!

**_OKAY! soo i know i havn't updated in a while i couldn't think of anything funny! but my FRIEND : Natalie : Emmybear94 wrote this and i would like you to appreciate the fine work she has done! SOO GO NATALIE! YEAHH.... This is Her CHAPTER! YAY_**

**EMPOV**

So we were in the car on our way to Disneyland in the car listening to Alice's Ipod.

Alice, Rose and Bella were all singing and moving their upper bodies to the song while Jasper and Edward looked out the windows watching the cars go by. But, I being an awesome brother was singing along with the ladies.

We were half way there and the current song on was JT's 'Sexy Back'. Still being the boring brothers Edward and Jasper were still staring out the window. I tried to encourage them to join in our little performance but they just wouldn't.

The song had just drawn to a close when NSync's song Pop came on.

"O. M.G. Turn it up full blast I love this song!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I seriously love this song, it is one of NSyncs' best.

I started singing the intro to the song while the girls hummed and swayed their hips to the music. I was doing the exact same as them.

_Sick and tired of hearing  
All these people talk about  
What's the deal with this pop life  
And when is gonna fade out  
The thing you got to realize  
What we doing is not a trend  
We got the gift of melody  
We gonna bring it till the end  
(Come on now)_  
The girls then joined in with me at the chorus, and we all sang and swinged our hips in perfect sync.

It doesn't matter  
'Bout the car I drive or  
What I wear around my neck  
All that matters  
Is that you recognize  
That it's just about respect  
It doesn't matter  
About the clothes I wear  
And where I go and why  
All that matters  
Is that you get hyped and  
We'll do it to you every time  
(Come on now)

_Do you ever wonder why  
This music gets you high?  
It takes you on a ride  
Feel it when your body  
Starts to rock  
(Your body starts to rock)  
Baby you can't stop  
(You can't stop)  
And the music's all you got  
Come on now  
This must be, pop_  
A little yellow convertible VW Bettle then pulled up next to us with their roof down. They looked over and smiled at the girls then when they looked at me and I smiled and waved while still singing. They then started laughing their heads off and didn't see the red light change causing them to get beeped from the people behind them while we sped off still singing at the top of our lungs and dancing.

Dirty pop  
Baby you can't stop  
I know you  
Like this dirty pop  
This must be

_Now, why you wanna try  
To classify the type of thing  
That we do  
'Cause we're just fine  
Doin what we like  
Can we say the same for you?  
Tired of feelin all  
Around me animosity  
Just worry about yours  
'Cause I'ma get mine  
Now people can't you see__[Echoes]__  
*NSYNC_  
_Do you ever wonder why  
(Ever wonder)  
This music gets you high?  
(Music gets you high)  
It takes you on a ride  
Feel it when your  
Body starts to rock  
(When your body  
Starts to rock)  
Baby you can't stop  
The music's all you got  
This must be, pop_

It doesn't matter  
'Bout the car I drive or  
The ice around my neck  
All that matters  
Is that you recognize  
That it's just about respect (oh)  
It doesn't matter  
About the clothes I wear  
And where I go and why  
All that matters  
Is that you get hyped and  
We'll give it to you every time  
(Come on)

Do you ever wonder why (Why?)  
This music gets you high?  
(Music gets you high)  
It takes you on a ride  
Feel it when your  
Body starts to rock  
(Your body starts to rock)  
Baby you can't stop  
(You can't stop)  
And the music's all you got  
Baby come on  
This must be, pop

Ooh  
Man I'm tired of singing

Dirty, dirty, dirty pop  
Dirty pop  
Do you ever wonder?

(Oh)  
Do you ever wonder why  
(Every wonder why)  
This music gets you high?  
(Music gets you high)  
It takes you on a ride  
Feel it when your  
Body starts to rock  
(When your body  
Starts to rock)  
Baby you can't stop  
(Baby don't stop)  
And the music's all you got  
Come on now  
This must be

The song sadly ended and headed on to another song. I looked over to Jasper and Edward who had shrunk down in their seats, most likely to hide themselves from other cars driving past. For what reason? I would have no idea!

**_YEAHH!!!! GO NAT! AWESOME STORY! OKAY EVERYONE REVIEW AND SHE SAY'S THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO READS IT! AND SO DO I THANK YOU! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! _**


	19. Sorry

Hey,

Sorry Everybody, Im currently on holidays. Burnt, tired and Dusty. A couple of days ago most of east Australia had a giant dust storm. Not to mention bushfires close by to home. I's so sorry for not updating. And when i get back from holidays were moving.. sad. Soo sorry again. When i get everything together.. i will continue writing and then post chapters up. Sorry again that i could not update any sooner.

I will up date ASAP.

Thank you.


	20. AGHH NEW MOON TONIGHT

HI, everyone.

HAHA OMG im sooo excited . **NEW MOON COMES OUT TONIGHT AGHHH!! CANT WAIT. OMG**.

HAHA IM REALLY EXCITED! AND I MEAN REALLY. AUSTRALIA IS THE FIRST CONTRY TO GET IT, I THIN K?

ANYWAY AGHHHHHH **SHIRTLESS TAYLOR LAUTNER**.. hhahaha. _WHEn bella goes to Edward 'kiss me' my friend dared me to say well yell 'IM PREGNANT' hahahaha anyway updating again after i watch it.. AGHHH_

_**U KNOW U LOVE ME !**_


	21. IVE SEEN NEW MOON!

OMFG.. that was the best movie EVER.

For anyone who is reading this.. i am just going to say that i have officialy watched NEW MOON.

I wasn't sure how it was going to play out, but damn.. did it ROCK.

Some of the most funniest bits is when eric is crying when watching romeo and Juliet. I actually snorted while laughing.. the comedy like the actors have said has really gone up a notch. I cried.. i really did. Sad to say my makeup was everywhere after and had to run to the bathroom.

One of my most fave bits, just because i absolutely love taylor, is when he is shirtless, angry (vibrating), dripping wet, and looking sooo damn sexy!

For people im sorry if u think i have ruwined it for you but i havnt, that was nothing.. wait till u see the end. If any of you has seen or heard in an interview that you heard that the last line was cheesy, it is.. but it WORKS like Ompa loompas... gosh in some parts especially in the voltori scene Aro's happy attitude made me want to punch him in the head. Seriously. I has punching him... from my eye sight anyway. But YES again. I havnt told u anything.

I cant Wait for ECLIPSE. Which i think America will get before me. Sigh. BUT AGAIN I ALREADY SEEN NEW MOON, AGhhhh..

I am to excited to sleep i havnt slept in over.. 24hrs.. and im sure when i hit the pillow ill be out like a light.

PS: for anyone who hates the part in new moon when the pages go October, November, December, January. Well im sorry but it also does it in the movie.. i wanted to fast forward.. it sucked well that bit anyway..

GO TEAM JACOB. Sorry i love taylor. Haha but i am Switzerland.. damn im to tired to even spell correctly. But all well.

IF anyone has any questions ask away. LOVE me. Ahaha

Sorry tired again but on a high of sugar and NEW MOON. haha


End file.
